Last night

Really managed to slap me in the face.

There are so many things I need to say, and do, and need. And I'm getting none of it.
Which really should call for a more dramatic plan of action, which is a problem in itself because like everything in my life, I don't know where I want to be or what I want to happen.

I think the main problem I have with other people is myself. I'm very cynical and negative about everything really, and I tend to assess peoples personalities from the sidelines as soon as I've come into contact with them. I realise how petty that is, I know better than anyone it's by no means a healthy form of socialization, but I can't help it, it's became automated and I do it without realising more often than not.

I'm painfully aware of the least obvious things around me and blissfully unaware of what really needs to be approached. I focus too much on silly little things I choose to believe other people besides me care about, they don't though, they have more important things to concern themselves with, and so do i. Or so i should anyway, that being the problem because concentrating on tiny little, often pathetic details of my life has left me at a loss with the important aspects, like living.